my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
