Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
