Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize