My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
