ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
