I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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