You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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