David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
