Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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