Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
