I just made out with a guy for $7.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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