Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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