Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
