Tell her she can't have a vagina
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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