dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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