if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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