just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
