What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
