Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You pole danced in your parka.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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