I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
