i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the day after is always just damage control
my shit smells like andre
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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