how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
