It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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