you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
