We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
