we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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