I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
