But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
