i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
