I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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