That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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