i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
