I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
