We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
