I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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