ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
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