Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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