im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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