I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
