Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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