Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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