Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
