i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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