nut hugger
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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