You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
