I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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