If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize