it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
