how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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