i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
