He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
