did you get engaged???
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
