I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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