So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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