I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She announced her abortion via fbk
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
