the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize