Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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