just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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