I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
