She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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