just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
